The Ultimate Role Model…… The Father!

I am a father of four grown kids and grandfather of four with a fifth on the
way. Raising kids is TOUGH especially for a high school drop out.

I started young 17 and I have four kids with three different women, and
raised every single kid. I got custody of my oldest daughter when she turned
two years old, and was a single parent for about five years. Had a son at 21 years
old, and had my visitation paid child support and had him EVERY week until
he moved in with me when he was a freshman in high school. I also have two
other daughters with my current wife.

So how do you know how to be a good strong father with no role models? My dad
a hard working truck driver and a heavy drinker he was around until I was about
12 then my parents split up he decided to take the easy way out and not deal with
my mother,  I didn’t see him until I was in my mid twenties, he decided to take the
easy way out and not deal with my mother.

So, I go through my teen years as a drifting, mindless violent kid with a chip on
my shoulder, destruction, fighting, training, drinking, and drugs were my thing,
I had no high school diploma, and no plan!

I started working at 12 because we were poor being raised by a single mother
who was as violent as any drunk abusive man. I continued to work, getting better
building a great work ethic doing anything possible to earn money, nothing was
beneath me.

I was always strong physically but not so much mentally after years of being broke
down by a mother that did everything possible to make me feel that I shouldn’t
exist, I know that because she told me many, many times.

But, I always knew that my kids would be the most important things in my life,
and I would do anything possible to provide the best I could at that time. I worked
tirelessly to give them a good life, with a home, cars and everything else they wanted.

I have NEVER been laid off or unemployed, I rarely missed work for sickness
I’m talking missing work only five times in 15 years, my kids never seen
drugs or booze in my house. I did not tolerate disrespect and taught my kids
to be strong, stand up for themselves, and be respectful of people.

I gave up drinking and drugs I continued to exercise keeping my body and mind
strong so I could continue to protect and provide for my family and tried to live
to higher standards, discipline was big in my home, you did good, you were
praised, you did bad you were punished! I was hard on my kids, but was
on myself!

However, too many fathers allow their kids to use sports figures as role models
instead of stepping up and being stronger, more disciplined and giving their kids
something to model. Sitting home doing as little as possible living a dirty lifestyle
of booze, cigarettes and drugs is usually a sign that you aren’t someone to model
after. They idolize these athletes because they are disciplined, and strong very few
role models are weak.

I can tell you I haven’t gotten the best results raising my kids with discipline and
it has been a constant battle to even today to wonder why my kids are unmotivated
to reach higher, for a better life.  Maybe I broke them with strict discipline or I
gave them too much, I do know that I have done the best I could to stand tall and
be a good role model through strong principals and values. I Never asked my kids
to do anything that I haven’t done, I never was a hypocrite I never told them to
not drink while asking them to get me a beer, I never told them to get a job while
collecting welfare, never told them to not drink while I’m staggering home from the bar,
it was the higher standard I was trying to instill.

Hey, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but as fathers it’s our responsibility to
try and live to higher standards for our families and to give our kids a good role model
whether they choose to follow your lead or not!

Toughness Builds Winners
Johnny Grube

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